Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize