I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
