it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
