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Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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