Cold hands, warm shart.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize