i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
