I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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