Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
