I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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