"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
