Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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