Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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