i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize