Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I smell like Dick and happiness
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
