More tranny stories later!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
