Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
