So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I AM VODKA MAN
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
