I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
