after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
