No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
