Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Randomize
