i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
