White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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