Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
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cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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