So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize