After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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