I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
