I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
