How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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