remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize