so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
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I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
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fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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