Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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