as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
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he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
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My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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