I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
