The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
