Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I have post one night stand depression
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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