I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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