you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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