Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
