Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
