We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
