i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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