Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
