I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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