i'm signing you up for texting rehab
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
