I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
