Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
where are you?
Hypothermia
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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