I am puke
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
