You're so nebulous sometimes
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
