Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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