Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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