dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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