your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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