When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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