Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize