whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I woke up under a house in Key West
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