K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i wish my penis had a tongue
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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