the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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