don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize