dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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