They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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